Sexy-ness

Hello Babes And Hunks ! Again ! ;DD
Today ; Overslept ! couldnt go for church . IM SORRY . hehe ,
anyws , i asked gaby to bring my books , she forgot . Lol , its okay !
went to her place , took my books and left for Sammie's . Was so hot today ,
i was practically hating the sun ! hahhaha . Had Fun Thr ;DD
We studied , computer , and she was off to BACSTREET BOYS CONCERT !!!!
And i was off home . Lol . WHAT A WORDSE ! Lol .
anyws , really malas now to write a whole long story , so ..
Goodnight , love you world :D

~shahgal~

Its Me . ?

Im The cause to your problems . im the cause if everyone else suffers down the road . i wont be tolerated . im a spoilt brat . im not being easy . im not thinking for the rest . im only thinking about myself . im not putting myself in the rest shoes . thats what you tell me .

thats what i always get from you . havent you thought about me ? I HATE YOU . dont you care for me ? dont you have any love ? you want me to sacrifice for the rest . i told you yes after all i've said and you've heard , but when i said yes , you just refuse to believe . im sorry for belonging to you . im sorry for being yours . im sorry you didnt get another , better than me . i wish you did . im sorry . life would had probably been easier without me , wouldnt it ? you may say no . but the way you show it to me , im a burden to you . to you all . i dont belong here . im sorry im yours . im sorry you had to keep me . im sorry you had to tolerate me . im sorry for being here . im sorry i wasnt someone else . im sorry for all these things . im sorry .

you want everyone else to have a better life . me ? im singled out here , arent i ? you just want to show me off to world for someone im not . am i right ?
i wont allow you to that . im not who you THINK i am okay . your expectations may have been way better than who i am today . you didnt want me to turn out like this . but am i so 'BAD' ? what if i left ? would you miss me ? would you be happy ? do you want me around ? do you not ? do you love me ? do you not ? do you care ? do you know , how many tears a day squeeze through my eyes because of you ? do you know how I feel ? do you know how unloved I feel ? do you know how sad i am ? do you know all this ?

sometimes i feel , you dont deserve me . you deserve way better . and thats 3 quarter of my life . i know that i love you , but do you ? do you love me back ? or are you forcing yourself ? when i was wayyyy younger , i wasnt a burden to you or anyone . i was just this small 'thing' everyone else loved . now i've grown , im not that small lil 'thing' everyone can just love . you may feel i've changed . but do you expect me to have the same attitude now that i was having when i was 5 years old ? no problems , no tears . the only tears i had were when i was physically hurt . now i've grown . ive been mentally hurt so many times . now there's tears on this face right here . i dont want you to not love me . i dont want you to hate me . i dont want you to wish you had someone else to replace me . i dont want you to not care for me .
And for those who read this and think im talking rubbish , YOU have not been in my position .

Im Sorry , Mum .

No Broken Hearted Girl .

You’re everything I thought you never were
And nothing like I thought you could’ve been
But still you live inside of me
So tell me how is that?

You’re the only one I wish I could forget
The only one I’d love to not forgive
And though you break my heart, you’re the only one
And though there are times when I hate you
Cause I can’t erase
The times that you hurt me
And put tears on my face
And even now while I hate you
It pains me to say
I know I’ll be there at the end of the day

I don’t wanna be without you babe
I don’t want a broken heart
Don’t wanna take a breath with out you babe
I don’t wanna play that part
I know that I love you
But let me just say
I don’t want to love you in no kind of way no no
I don’t want a broken heart
And I don’t wanna play the broken-hearted girl...No...No
No broken-hearted girl
I’m no broken-hearted girl

Something that I feel I need to say
But up to now I’ve always been afraid
That you would never come around
And still I want to put this out
You say you’ve got the most respect for me
But sometimes I feel you’re not deserving me
And still you’re in my heart
But you’re the only one and yes
There are times when I hate you
But I don’t complain
Cause I’ve been afraid that you would've walk away
Oh but now I don’t hate you
I’m happy to say
That I will be there at the end of the day

I don’t wanna be without you babe
I don’t want a broken heart
Don’t wanna take a breath with out you babe
I don’t wanna play that part
I know that I love you
But let me just say
I don’t want to love you in no kind of way no no
I don’t want a broken heart
And I don’t wanna play the broken-hearted girl...No…No
No broken-hearted girl

Now I’m at a place I thought I’d never be…Oooo
I’m living in a world that’s all about you and me…yeah
Ain't gotta be afraid my broken heart is free
To spread my wings and fly away
Away With you
yeah yeah yeah, ohh ohh ohh

I don’t wanna be without my baby
I don’t wanna a broken heart
Don’t want to take a breath with out my baby
I don’t wanna play that part
I know that I love you
But let me just say
I don’t want to love you in no kind of way..No..No
I don’t want a broken heart
I don’t wanna play the broken-hearted girl..No..No..
No broken-hearted girl
Broken-hearted girl No…no…
No broken-hearted girl

~shahgal~

Suffocated ;;

Hey Babes & Hunks !
Wassup Sexaysss !
well ; i thought everything was falling right into its place . but i was wrong . its just falling out of place . first (PRIVATE) . second , the house issue : cant move in anywhr ! problems everywhr . i guess its just not the right time ? haiish , whataworse ! YOU ARE THE THUNDER AND I AM THE LIGHTNING ! hehe , love that song .. anyways , Lol , as i was saying .. nothings really falling into its right place . mayb its not supposed to .. but who knows .. SHARING A ROOM WITH 3 KIDS !? no wayyyy thats gonna happen ! i refuse ;hello ! i need my spaceeeee ! im not some 7 year old kid ! *pissed* i hope this is not gonna happen . i wont live with it , I CANT LIVE WITH IT ! i'd die . if i cant adapt to this ? what am i to do ? i cant freaking move out , could i ?! wth lahhhh .

Anyws , schools awesomeeee ! academically tooooooo ! :DD my target score for my maths test was 22/25 , i got 23/25 ! Hoorayyyyyyyyyyyyy !! :D english , is loved , ALWAYS ! science is great ! :D:D love it . malay is okay . WAYYYY better than primary school ! i guess i adpated to my friends and the class quick ! and i love that fact ! :DD my friends are the most awesome people i have in my life . those that give me happiness , and teach me ! Miss Salihah ! i love youhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ! hahaha ! :DD im happy when im not thinking about my future . when those thoughts come to my mind , my smile turns upside down . hey lyni , dont be sad syg ! no matter what , you've got me ! :DD you've always got me to turn to . dont ever forget that ! Ayu , Rina , Shazzy , Iira , Lyni ;; i love you guysssssssssss !

my 1 week with gaby was awesomeeeeeeeee ! i was so happy ! thanks gaby , for making me smile and be happy for the whole 1 week for the first time IN A VERY LONG TIME ! i think the last i was so happy for a long time was like last year ? this year theres so many good things and bad things .

Good things ;; school , friends ! Bad things ;; things falling out of place ..

WHAT A WORSE ! Hahaha .

btw , im glad i met YOU ! :D you're awesomeeee !
thats it !
buhbye ! Lve youuuu !
~Shah Gal~ :D